ALTERCATION AT PARK PLAZA MALL OVER PUSH-UP BRA. LRPD BREAKS OUT RIOT GEAR IN RESPONSE

A Returnmas day dispute at Park Plaza Mall provided the Little Rock Police Department the opportunity to use some of the $400K riot gear recently purchased by the taxpayers of Little Rock.

LRPD SPECIAL RESPONSE TEAM AT PARK PLAZA MALL

LRPD broke out their new riot gear to quell a mob of crazed teenagers at Park Plaza Mall after off-duty Pulaski County Sheriff's Deputies were forced to seek shelter in the freezer in the Dippin' Dots store.

According to sources present at the mall, a fight broke out between two teenage girls over a push-up bra at Victoria's Secret, and general discordance quickly spread throughout the mall sending shoppers scurrying for the doors. Other sources stated that they thought the fight started over some stolen waffle fries in the food court.

LRPD says they will have patrols in the mall parking lot and will use both of their observation towers to help keep things under control.

 

YOU'RE A MEAN ONE MR. STODOLA

MAYOR MARK STODOLA DRESSED AS THE GRINCH SERVED EVICTION NOTICES

Just two days before Festivus, Little Rock Mayor Mark Stodola dressed as the Grinch, personally served eviction notices to residents of the Alexander Apartments at 6310 Colonel Glenn Road.

Alexander Apartments resident LaTisha Shakalaka-Boom told reporters, " I was in the kitchen getting my 5 year old son some of those Little Debbie Christmas Tree cakes when I heard an awful racket at the door.  My son went to the door thinking it was his Auntie and when he opened the door and saw the Grinch he screamed and fainted."  Shakalaka-Boom added, "the mayor should be ashamed of hisself for scaring my poor baby and throwing us out of our home at this time of year. Jesus is weeping."

While Stodola was knocking on doors, Little Rock City Manager Bruce Moore told reporters "occupants in residential rental units have the right to safe living spaces that meet code requirements... if those standards are not met, it is up to the City to step and and take immediate action."  

The action in this case was to tell the residents that had to get the hell out by December 28th or be faced with being arrested and having their children placed in foster care.

The city directed utility companies to shut off gas and electricity as well.

In an official Festivus practice of the Airing of Grievances, Central Arkansas Legal Aid filed a motion for a temporary restraining order which was granted by Pulaski County Circuit Judge Alice Gray.

A hearing has been set for December 29th at 10:30 a.m.