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| COTTON RUNS QUICKLY AWAY FROM ANGRY HOBBIT |
Arkansas Senator Thomas B. Cotton was photographed fleeing
for his life after a brief battle with a hobbit in the Shire.
Tom Cotton also known as Young Tom, the son of the famous
Tolman “Tom” Cotton, has for some time has complained that Sen. Cotton by writing
open letters when he can’t get his way is besmirching the name of his renowned
father. Young Tom’s father is famous for heroic action in the Battle of
Bywater.
Sen. Cotton is known for writing open letters when he feels
that he is being ignored.
The first noted use of this tactic was when Sen. Cotton was
briefly in combat in the Middle East back in 2006. He took time from fighting the jihading
terrorists to complain that reporters writing about how the U.S. was able to
track funds of the terrorists were causing the loss of his soldier’s lives. He
did not give specific details but did point out that he was a Harvard graduate
and knew what he was talking about. Sen.
Cotton’s second letter which was to Iran has been much debated and it is
speculated that he may be the first person ever charged with violating 18 U.S.C.
A. § 953, known as the Logan Act.
Hobbits in the Shire are celebrating the victory of Young
Tom and they do not believe that Sen. Cotton will ever step foot in the Shire
again. Gimbo Gamgee, the mayor of Bywater said “that man was running from here
like a hoard of orc’s was on his tail”.
