SEN. TOM COTTON FLEES FROM BATTLE WITH HOBBIT

COTTON RUNS QUICKLY AWAY FROM ANGRY HOBBIT

Arkansas Senator Thomas B. Cotton was photographed fleeing for his life after a brief battle with a hobbit in the Shire.

Tom Cotton also known as Young Tom, the son of the famous Tolman “Tom” Cotton, has for some time has complained that Sen. Cotton by writing open letters when he can’t get his way is besmirching the name of his renowned father. Young Tom’s father is famous for heroic action in the Battle of Bywater.

Sen. Cotton is known for writing open letters when he feels that he is being ignored.

The first noted use of this tactic was when Sen. Cotton was briefly in combat in the Middle East back in 2006.  He took time from fighting the jihading terrorists to complain that reporters writing about how the U.S. was able to track funds of the terrorists were causing the loss of his soldier’s lives. He did not give specific details but did point out that he was a Harvard graduate and knew what he was talking about.  Sen. Cotton’s second letter which was to Iran has been much debated and it is speculated that he may be the first person ever charged with violating 18 U.S.C. A. § 953, known as the Logan Act.The Logan Act is a single federal statute making it a crime for a citizen to confer with foreign governments against the interests of the United States. Specifically, it prohibits citizens from negotiating with other nations on behalf of the United States without authorization.

Hobbits in the Shire are celebrating the victory of Young Tom and they do not believe that Sen. Cotton will ever step foot in the Shire again. Gimbo Gamgee, the mayor of Bywater said “that man was running from here like a hoard of orc’s was on his tail”.

QUAPAW TRIBE INITATES PLANS FOR CASINO IN LITTLE ROCK

Promotional photo for the proposed Little Rock Quapaw Casino featuring LR Mayor Mark Stodola 

The Quapaw Tribe of Oklahoma is seeking to have 160 acres of land owned by the Tribe in Pulaski County, just south of the Little Rock Port Authority, placed in the federal Indian Trust by the Department of the Interior.

The Tribe acquired the property in 2012 and 2013 for $1,372,000.00 according to records on file with the Pulaski County Clerk and the Pulaski County Assessor.

According to the Department of Interior, by placing the land in trust with the United States, Arkansas would have no authority over tribal governments unless expressly authorized by Congress. While federally recognized tribes generally are not subordinate to states, they can have a government-to-government relationship with these other sovereigns, as well.

Federally recognized tribes possess both the right and the authority to regulate activities on their lands independently from state government control.  They can enact and enforce stricter or more lenient laws and regulations than those of the surrounding or neighboring state(s) wherein they are located. Yet, tribes frequently collaborate and cooperate with states through compacts or other agreements on matters of mutual concern such as environmental protection and law enforcement.

Pulaski County Judge Barry Hyde received a letter earlier this month from the Department of the Interior which provided notice of their intention to place the property in trust. Judge Hyde, apparently baffled by the entire process and his lack of knowledge regarding federal regulations concerning Indian tribal rights, could not even provide reporters the date he received the letter. Little Rock Mayor Mark Stodola made remarks alluding to the letter of notice during his “state of the city” address this past Thursday, but offered little details.

Our investigative reporter has obtained a draft of an up-coming press release concerning the opening of new Quapaw Casino here in Little Rock that features Mayor Stodola .  It was also discovered that the newly appointed Port Authority director, Brian Day, has been having pow-wow’s with tribal leaders to facilitate the development of the site.  Day stated "I'm excited about having the casino close to my office because there are not many places to eat close by out here”.

The Quapaw Tribe owns and operates two other casinos in Oklahoma.

UAF COACH EMPLOYS OLD SCHOOL METHOD OF DISCIPLINE

Coach Bielema delivers some "old school" discipline to Beanum

University of Arkansas at Fayetteville football head coach Brett Bielema resorted to an “old school” method of discipline to deal with the recent arrest of sophomore Tevin Beanum for failing to dim his headlights.

In his press conference on February 26^th, Bielema stated that the fact that there were no injuries to his player or anyone else as well as the fact that he hasn't dealt with this situation in a long time was a “positive”.

However, in addition to following protocol and placing Beanum in mandatory counseling sessions, the Razorbacks' head coach revealed that he contacted the player's mother to determine the best method of discipline.

"He'll complete the requirements that the University of Arkansas puts forth, but also the ones that I have. His momma told me that I should take his car away and wear his ass out and that’s what I did”.