PULASKI COUNTY SHERIFF TO USE WW II BUNKERS TO HOUSE PRISONERS

Pulaski County Sheriff Doc Holladay has announced that the jail will not be able to house any more prisoners and will effectively close down on July 1,2014.

To accommodate newly arrested individuals, Sheriff Holladay has arranged to use one of the old ammunition bunkers in Maumelle as a makeshift jail annex until the regular jail population is reduced. 

Prisoners will be detailed to the Maumelle Country Club during the day for caddy duty and stray ball pick-up and will be locked down at night in the bunker. Holladay stated "when you have been dealt a bad deal you have to fold or make lemonade".

ASA HUTCHINSON REVEALS PLAN TO REDUCE PRISON POPULATION

Republican gubernatorial candidate Asa Hutchinson has announced a plan to reduce the population at the various facilities maintained by the Arkansas Department of Corrections if he is elected. 

Hutchinson’s plan calls for certain prisoners to be euthanized much like dogs and cats in animal shelters. Hutchinson said that “these jails and prisons will only have a set amount of days for each offender, depending on their sentence and then they go to the Big Sleep Chamber”. 

Hutchinson stated that “it was too early to release all the details of his plan” as he was “waiting on input from municipal animal shelters to work out the kinks”.

LITTLE ROCK POLICE TO USE DRONE TO FIGHT CRIME

Newly hired LR COP Kenton “T-dog” Buckner has plans for a surplus drone LRPD received through the Department of Defense’s 1033 program which provides surplus military equipment for police use in counter-narcotic and counter-terrorism situations. 

Buckner stated that he sees the escalating crime rate in Little Rock “dropping like flies” when the drone is used to “cap the crooks”. Bucker said that a similar program had “mostly worked” in Louisville, KY and “that every now and then there was some collateral damage”.

City manager Bruce Moore also announced that the city had increased the coverage for its liability insurance.

LESLIE RUTLEDGE REVEALS PLAN TO ARM ARKANSANS

Arkansas Attorney General candidate Leslie Rutledge in an effort to counter criticism that she is against the controversial “stands your ground law”, released details what she calls her “A Weapon for Every Arkansas Home Plan or W.E.A.P.”. 

Rutledge’s W.E.A.P. initiative will place guns confiscated by Arkansas law enforcement agencies in every Arkansas home that passes a background check. Rutledge said that she does not expect opposition from any “God fearing Christian that loves America and believes in the inherent right to bear arms guaranteed by the U. S. Constitution”. 

Democratic candidate Nate Coulter could not stop laughing long enough to provide a response.

LITTLE ROCK ZOO BIDS FAREWELL TO ELEPHANTS

STODOLA AUCTIONING OFF THE LAST ELEPHANT AT THE LR ZOO

Mayor Mark Stodola announced this week that after months of planning by zoo officials that the board has finally approved an updated master plan that will phase out the elephant area and replace it with an Adopt-A-Pet area that relocates the animal shelter from its present location to the zoo. 

When the Little Rock Board of Directors discussed the Little Rock Zoo’s master plan back in April, Stodola questioned the expansion of the elephant area as proposed. Citing concerns about the recent dispute nationwide about zoos’ housing of elephants, something that escalated in Little Rock when an advocacy group dubbed the Little Rock Zoo as a place where elephants go to die, Stodola urged that alternatives to expansion be developed. 

Stodola told reporters that the plan “sorta came to him” after the board made a late night fact finding visit to Midtown Billiards in connection to discussions of shutting down late night clubs. Stodola said that the updated plan included the addition of a Tiki Bar and that a portion of proceeds from alcohol sales would go to a fund to provide spaying/neutering of adopted pets.