LRPD CLAIMS TERRORISTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WEEKEND SHOOTING

According to a report by Little Rock CBS Affiliate KTHV, the Little Rock Police Department believes that terrorists are responsible for an active shooter episode this weekend in the John Barrow addition.

According to LRPD Chief Kenton Buckner, a small contingent of terrorists have established a camp in Boyle Park and he is asking the mayor to request that Governor Hutchinson declare a state of emergency and place Little Rock under martial law under the joint control of the LRPD and the Arkansas National Guard.

TERRORISTS POSING FOR A PHOTO IN BOYLE PARK

Bucker has issued orders that all LRPD officers wear the protective gear the department recently purchased and deploy patrols in the armored vehicles obtained from military surplus.

LRPD has established a mobile command center at Parkview Arts Magnet High School and student have been sent home.  

Little Rock Mayor Mark Stodola has placed in the city in a Code Red status and advises citizens to remain indoors until the city is free of terrorist threats.

 

ALTERCATION AT PARK PLAZA MALL OVER PUSH-UP BRA. LRPD BREAKS OUT RIOT GEAR IN RESPONSE

A Returnmas day dispute at Park Plaza Mall provided the Little Rock Police Department the opportunity to use some of the $400K riot gear recently purchased by the taxpayers of Little Rock.

LRPD SPECIAL RESPONSE TEAM AT PARK PLAZA MALL

LRPD broke out their new riot gear to quell a mob of crazed teenagers at Park Plaza Mall after off-duty Pulaski County Sheriff's Deputies were forced to seek shelter in the freezer in the Dippin' Dots store.

According to sources present at the mall, a fight broke out between two teenage girls over a push-up bra at Victoria's Secret, and general discordance quickly spread throughout the mall sending shoppers scurrying for the doors. Other sources stated that they thought the fight started over some stolen waffle fries in the food court.

LRPD says they will have patrols in the mall parking lot and will use both of their observation towers to help keep things under control.

 

YOU'RE A MEAN ONE MR. STODOLA

MAYOR MARK STODOLA DRESSED AS THE GRINCH SERVED EVICTION NOTICES

Just two days before Festivus, Little Rock Mayor Mark Stodola dressed as the Grinch, personally served eviction notices to residents of the Alexander Apartments at 6310 Colonel Glenn Road.

Alexander Apartments resident LaTisha Shakalaka-Boom told reporters, " I was in the kitchen getting my 5 year old son some of those Little Debbie Christmas Tree cakes when I heard an awful racket at the door.  My son went to the door thinking it was his Auntie and when he opened the door and saw the Grinch he screamed and fainted."  Shakalaka-Boom added, "the mayor should be ashamed of hisself for scaring my poor baby and throwing us out of our home at this time of year. Jesus is weeping."

While Stodola was knocking on doors, Little Rock City Manager Bruce Moore told reporters "occupants in residential rental units have the right to safe living spaces that meet code requirements... if those standards are not met, it is up to the City to step and and take immediate action."  

The action in this case was to tell the residents that had to get the hell out by December 28th or be faced with being arrested and having their children placed in foster care.

The city directed utility companies to shut off gas and electricity as well.

In an official Festivus practice of the Airing of Grievances, Central Arkansas Legal Aid filed a motion for a temporary restraining order which was granted by Pulaski County Circuit Judge Alice Gray.

A hearing has been set for December 29th at 10:30 a.m.

MAYOR STODOLA DEMANDS TWO POSITIONS TO SERVE UNDER HIM WITH A $158,000 COST TO TAXPAYERS

MAYOR STODOLA WITH PHYLLIS DICKERSON, HIS SOON TO BE CHIEF OF STAFF

Little Rock Mayor Mark Stodola has demanded that two positions be created to serve under him, a chief of staff ( salary range $60k - $90k) and an assistant to the mayor (salary range $44k to $68k).

Stodola and city manager Bruce Moore almost came to blows when the mayor became enraged when Moore questioned why the positions were necessary. 

STODOLA AND MOORE STARE DOWN EACH OTHER AFTER CONFRONTATION

Only one individual has applied for the top job, Phyllis Dickerson. Dickerson currently is employed as a Special Events & Program Coordinator in the City Manager's office with an annual salary of $65,625.00.  In her new position she could make up to a 37% increase in salary.

City Human Resource personnel also questioned the need for the two costly positions when the mayor has access to any number of city hall staff members at his beck and call already.

Emails obtained reveal that Stodola "bitch slapped" Moore and pulled rank on him declaring, "Bruce we have always worked pretty well together the past 8+ years and while you might prefer something different, I really want and need this to happen and would like it to happen with your cooperation (I am the mayor bitch). Ordinance 19,761 identifies the mayor as the chief executive officer of the city and it also increases the executive authority of the mayor including a directive that all powers and duties of the city manager shall be performed at the direction of the mayor".

Both Stodola and Moore were unavailable for comment. 

IS BIELEMA LEAVING ARKANSAS? FOR SALE SIGN & MOVING VAN SPOTTED AT HIS HOME

MOVING VAN SIGHTED AT BIELEMA'S HOME

A moving van was spotted this morning at the Fayetteville home of Arkansas head  coach Bret Bielema. There was also what appeared to be a for sale sign in the yard.

At a post game press conference, after the shocking loss to Toledo, a weeping Bielema broke down and had to be escorted from press room at War Memorial Stadium. It was reported that the team doctor had to sedate him.

Tweets directed at Bielema were reported to have almost caused Twitter servers to crash and Bielema became visibly upset after reading them.

 

 

On the bus ride back to Fayetteville, players report observing Bielema making a flurry of phone calls, and was overhead saying "its time to bounce".

There has been no response to messages left for Bielema or UAF Athletic Director Jeff Long.

When Lindsey & Associates was contacted about their sign in Bielema's yard, the individual that answered said they "had no comment at the present time" and to "piss off".

STATE SENATOR JASON RAPERT SPARS WITH PRIEST AT LOWES - ENDS UP AT STATE HOSPITAL

SEN. JASON RAPERT TAKES A SWING AT FATHER JOSEF STALGRIN

State Senator Jason Rapert (R-Bigelow) was photographed taking a swing at Father Josef Stalgrin of St. Catherine of Cadron Creek Catholic Church this past weeked at Lowes in Conway.

Father Stalgrin was at Lowe's to bless some lumber and as he was leaving he ran into Rapert in the parking lot.  Stalgrin told Rapert he was a constituent and asked him if he would join him in prayer.  Rapert became incensed that a Catholic priest would ask him to do anything, and Rapert went on a tirade about the Catholic Church and how their doctrine is evil and all their priests are pedophiles.  

Stalgrin, shocked by Rapert's outburst and believing him to be possessed, quickly walked away from Rapert.

Later in the day, Rapert began making bizarre tweets, many of which contained threats of violence.

An unidentified acquaintance of Rapert's called the Faulkner County Sheriff's office and asked them to conduct a welfare check at Rapert's residence.  Upon arrival,  deputies found Rapert running around his home, screaming at the top of his lungs that the world was ending while carrying a copy of the Arkansas Times.

A quick search of the home by the deputies revealed a cache of weapons and disturbing photographs and writings of Rapert.  One photo resembled the famous photo of Lee Harvey Oswald found after the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

 

Another photo depicted Rapert dressed as Jesus.

Deputies quickly obtained a commitment order and transported Rapert to the State Hospital in Little Rock. In a hearing conducted over closed circuit television, Rapert claimed the court had no authority to hold him and only a heavenly court could pronounce any binding judgment.  That remark and other ramblings resulted in a 45 day commitment order for Rapert to remain at the State Hospital. 

 

SPRINGDALE AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER FOUND HALF NAKED AND PASSED OUT IN CONTROL TOWER

On July 16th a Springdale, AR air traffic controller, Phillip "P.J." Mascheck, 50 was arrested after police said he was intoxicated in the control tower at the Springdale Municipal Airport.

Maschek arrived at airport for work about 6:00 a.m. and when a pilot could not get the tower to respond at 7:45 a.m., another airport employee found Mascheck "passed out in his chair with his shirt off".

When Springdale police responded they gave Mascheck a field sobriety test, which he failed.  According to the police report Mascheck was showing signs of intoxication, slurring his speech, swaying in his feet and struggled to follow directions and could not maintain his balance. Mascheck was wearing a robe and slippers when he was arrested according to the police report.

Mascheck argued with the police over the term "public intoxication" and said "a little green man in a flying saucer circled the control tower and fired some sort of ray gun at him that made him pass out and when he woke up he felt loopy".

Mascheck refused a breath test and the police did not take blood samples according to the report.  The report indicated Mascheck denied he was intoxicated. Mascheck complained to officers that his butt hurt and thought he had been probed by the alien.

Mascheck told the police he had worked for the city for 20 years and had never seen anything like it, referring to the flying saucer.

Mascheck was arrested and released from jail after posting a $350.00 bond.